Okay, so picture this: Christmas night, and Santa drops off a cat. Not just any cat, but you know, a troublemaker. Sounds like a plot straight out of a sitcom, right? Upscale Studios thought so too, unveiling their game “Cat From Hell – Cat Simulator.” I mean, yes, cats and chaos on Christmas, with a jingle bell soundtrack. Should be a laugh riot, or so you’d think. Spoiler alert: it’s a bit of a letdown. Here’s what happened — or, at least, here’s my take.
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So, you, the player, are this cat, right? Not the one Santa drops in, but the one who lives there already. Santa’s new delivery causes mayhem, breaks a vase, and of course, blames you. Classic cat antics. Hence, your goal? A little payback. Trash the place, set up the new guy, and maybe — just maybe — get him booted. Seems simple? Well, not really. Grandma’s always watching, and you get caught? Game over, buddy.
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You sneak around, break stuff, dive under cover. When things shatter, it’s like a festive alarm — tinkling bells that mean “uh-oh” Grandma’s incoming. The catch is, getting her to suspect the other cat is supposed to be hilarious. Except, the punchline falls flat. Repeatedly.
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And don’t even get me started on the glitches. Grandma and this new feline menace wander into furniture, and bam, stuck like they’ve forgotten how doors work. It’s so silly, it’s almost tragic. Like, she’ll walk into a chair forever if nobody stops her.
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If you try some strategic moves, it turns into hoping and praying. Got perfectly timed chaos ready? Don’t hold your breath. Sometimes the game just shrugs and blames no one at all. I remember, in one ridiculous turn of events, I claimed victory just because the other cat got lodged behind a couch. Grandma blamed him by default since, well, he was basically a cat statue at that point.
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The whole first-person view doesn’t help. The perspective feels like looking through a fisheye lens with paws that flop around like they’re animated with dental floss. Honestly, it feels like an homage to early 2000s budget games. Remember those? Yeah, neither do I… not fondly, anyway.
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Oh, and audio? Grandma speaks with the clarity of a 90s cassette tape recorded over too many times. Aside from the obligatory festive remix, the sounds are pretty forgettable. You’d think there’d be a trophy for making it through this chaos, right? Nope, no Platinum. Just some consolation prizes for breaking knick-knacks or hoodwinking the rival cat now and then.
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In the end, I wanted festive chaos. I ended up in a half-baked cat’s daydream. For a mere $4.99, it’s still hard to give a nod to, even if you’re desperate to fill your PlayStation 5’s game library.
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Hey, just remember, this convoluted chaos is courtesy of a review code from Upscale Studios. Make of that what you will.