[Nintendo Switch Transformed into a Glacially Slow iPhone: 20-Minute Boot Times, Kernel Panics, and Non-Functional Apps]

Alright, so here’s the scoop, in my own — maybe a little messy — style.

Imagine someone with lots of time and a knack for, let’s say, unusual projects. PatRyk, a tech tinkerer, somehow decided it was a good idea to shove Apple’s iOS into a Nintendo Switch. Yep, you read that right. Don’t get your hopes up, though. We’re talking about “the world’s slowest ‘iPhone’,” if we can even call it that. Takes about 20 minutes just to wake up, and every app seems to crash quicker than you can say ‘kernel panic’ (whatever that is…). But hey, it’s a start, right?

Now, the world’s all abuzz with this new Switch 2 thing, but here’s PatRyk, spending sleepless nights wrestling with this, trying to blend Apple’s mobile magic with Nintendo’s charm. Just picture the patience you need. How many endless minutes of watching it try to boot, only to freeze or fail? Ugh. I can almost feel the frustration oozing out of that screen.

So, using this ‘iPhone’? It’s like inviting chaos over for tea. PatRyk laughs, or maybe cries, about how everything panics every other click — even succeeded in making opening apps a Herculean task that ends in a crash. Now that’s entertainment, folks.

You’re wondering, why bother? But somehow, this whole chaos proves a point. Yeah, you can make iOS do some mental gymnastics on a Switch. But are you rushing to swap out your trusty iPhone for a gaming console running an overloaded OS anytime soon? Doubt it.

Now, how did all this happen? Cue in QEMU, which sounds more like a Pokémon, but, nah, it’s some open-source emulator magic. Thanks to ChefKissInc (gotta love the names they come up with), there’s a version tweaked for Apple iPhone 11. After two mind-boggling days of mixing this tech salad, our hero PatRyk managed to get iOS to at least blink in the direction of the Nvidia Tegra X1-powered Nintendo world. Bet it was a sight.

And what now? Does PatRyk keep this wild roller coaster rolling on? No clue. But there’s a promise of more mad scientist moments ahead. Keep your eyes peeled for these kinds of digital escapades and who knows, maybe someday this thing boots up in, I don’t know, less than a decade.

So, if you hang around Tom’s Hardware, well, you might catch updates on this quirky journey. The digital world never sleeps, and with folks like PatRyk, there’s always something jaw-droppingly weird just around the corner.