Schoolgirl Returns in “Full Metal” Style at Switch 2 Event in October

Oh man, where to even start… So, you know how everyone’s been itching for those Switch 2 game deets? Turns out, we just weren’t peeking into the neon-glazed-apocalypse of 2089 Japan. Yeah, I missed that memo too. But D3Publisher to the rescue—because boom! They’ve just rolled out a gem called Full Metal Schoolgirl, dropping on October 23rd.

So, ever heard of Yuke’s? They’re the masterminds behind stuff like EARTH DEFENSE FORCE: World Brothers 2 and that AEW: Fight Forever thing. Anyway, they’re bringing us this wild ride — and they promise it’s got attitude, in spades. The trailer kinda hits you with that, but like… trailers, right? Always packing a punch in 60 seconds or less. Impressive stuff.

Hold on a sec, let’s get into the weeds with the press release deets, just in case my rambling got you lost in translation.

Apparently, our scene’s set in the year 2089, smack dab in a twisted Japan where Meternal Jobz is running the show. Picture a corporate beast with Lazarus-tech zombie cyborgs, the “Working Dead” — never clocking out, not ever. And you’re this cyborg schoolgirl, duked out in gear that looks like it was designed by a mech-loving otaku. Your gig? Scale a topsy-turvy skyscraper from hell, untangle the tangles of corporate evil, and probably swipe left on the undead drones while you’re at it. This whole mission screams something out of a late-stage capitalist nightmare. Irony-meter, maxed out.

Producer Nobuyuki Okajima chimes in that it’s a locked-and-loaded rebellion against the system, with a dash of dark humor. They set it in the future—why, you ask? Maybe they’re onto something. Or maybe they just like mech-girls. Can’t say for sure.

And our heroic escapades? Check it:

Become This Badass Cyborg Schoolgirl: Yeah, you’re armed to the teeth, ready to go all gung-ho against these zombified corporate minions. You’re busting into Meternal Jobz with more weapons than you’d think anyone not in an action movie would have. It’s a small army in a school uniform.

Tango in a Mutating Skyscraper: Imagine this 100-story behemoth, and the baddie’s chilling out on the top floor. But here’s the kicker: the building keeps shifting. Which, honestly? Sounds like a metaphor for my life. Anyway, every climb is a different challenge. Traps, puzzles—and just when you thought you were out of the woods, nope, another twist.

Become a Viral Sensation: This game’s got a spin—livestreaming the chaos. As you’re smashing skulls and taking names, you’re raking in views, earning sweet gear, and fan donations. So even if you bite the dust, remember, like, hundreds of digital spirits are rootin’ for ya. Not lonely, right?

And nope, you can’t snag pre-orders just yet for Switch 2. But the official site tosses you more crumbs if you’re hungry for more tidbits.

Okay, I’m out. Later!