Okay, so there’s this game, right? It’s called “There Are No Ghosts at the Grand.” Sounds a bit like a joke, doesn’t it? Anyway, I first heard about it during the Xbox Games Showcase, and my brain kind of went on a wild ride. Picture a mashup of renovation madness and ghostly mysteries, all set in this quirky seaside town we all secretly wish we could visit. There’s a trailer — you gotta see it, but let me break it down in my own chaotic way first.
You’re Chris David (or am I?), an American who suddenly owns The Grand, a crusty old hotel in coastal England. Now, this place is like your grandma’s attic, full of weird noises and dust — but also secrets. By day, Chris aka YOU (if you’re still with me here), uses chatty power tools to fix things up. Yet, at night… jeez, let’s just say it’s a whole other ball game.
You’ve got 30 days, day and night, to get this place looking somewhat human-friendly again. Tools like this wild paint sprayer and even a furniture cannon (yep, you heard that right) become your best buddies. But don’t sweat the details; it’s all about having a blast, even if you miss a spot or two. Just aim for “close enough.” Spoiler: even with all that effort, something is lurking in the shadows as time tips away.
Ah, and then there’s Robert C. MacBrushy. This AI guy is like Scotty from Star Trek mixed with that annoying paperclip from old Microsoft Word. Can’t decide if I’d want to have a coffee with him or not. But the dude (program?) knows how to demolish things in style. Expect to get your hands dirty solving puzzles — might need to think a bit outside the paint bucket, too.
Once the sun goes down, you swap your decorator hat for a ghost hunter’s cap. Plot twist: Chris has a secret. He’s not just there to DIY the heck out of a hotel. The night brings hidden doors, creepy sounds, and creatures painting your walls with their footprints. Sounds cozy, huh? Thankfully, MacBrushy’s back with tricks to tackle spine-chilling specters. Handy that your tools double as ghostbusters.
Now, let’s introduce the weird (but lovable?) gang. The hotel’s home to more than just creaky floors. There’s this mob of characters, each with their stories, rooms, and oddball solos because, yes, this game’s a musical. But not like Broadway. Think more grungy, British ska, with beats your dad might’ve tapped his feet to. Oh, and imagine Mr. Bones, the cat — sarcastic, with an Aussie twang, mind you. What’s his deal anyway? Purrs by day, philosophizes by night. Friend or foe? Your guess is as good as mine.
And then there’s this town — Kingswood-on-Sea. It’s got that eerie vibe where you half-expect to run into a pirate ghost on the way to the bakery. You can wander about, unlock hidden spots, maybe even bring the mini-golf course back to life. Who cared about ghosts when you’ve got golf?
To wrap things up, “There Are No Ghosts at the Grand” gives you vibes of fixing the past, dotted with musical notes and maybe a sprinkle or two of ghostly giggles. It’s a dark comedy that’ll leave you questioning upholstery — trust me, it’s a thing. But in all seriousness, check it out when it hits Xbox and PCs in 2026. And always keep one eye on that sneaky hotel.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
