Sure, here we go:
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Alright, so here’s the deal with the latest update for Call of Duty: Warzone. Ever notice how developers seem to think we all have endless time for these events? Yeah, the May 13 update is stretching out the High Art extravaganza ’til May 22. Why? Who knows. Maybe they’re being generous, or just forgot to hit the stop button. But anyway, you’ve got an extra week to snag those ever-so-special rewards.
Bugs? Oh yeah, they fixed some of those too. Apparently, aiming was a real headache when you got yourself all prone and crouchy. Like, what’s the point of stealth if your sight speed goes toast, right? They’ve sorted that out, it seems. Thank you, Raven Software, or whoever had their morning coffee before that meeting.
And hey, remember Verdansk? Sure, you do. Well, the Season 3 Reloaded thing brought in that funky motorbike, not that I ever saw it in the wild lands of the game. Or was that just me never getting out of the Gulag?
Anyway—whoops, I got sidetracked—there’s some new stuff here, like High Value Loot Zones. I love me some good loot—who doesn’t? Contracts got some love too. Big Game Bounty and Train Recon Contracts sound fancy. No idea what they do, but I’m sure someone out there is all about it.
Oh, and the High Art Event Pass is still up for grabs. Got some cool goodies, I guess? An operator skin and Double XP Tokens, yada yada. It’s all about that sweet cosmetic upgrade life.
Plot twist: they sorted a weird bug where zombies attacked players in the Gulag. Yes, zombies. I swear I’m not making this up. Could’ve been an off-the-menu feature, but some players weren’t having it.
And what’s the scoop with Ranked Play? Emotes are a no-go, and I guess Restock bumped in for Fire Sale in circle 3 of Public Events. Must be some strategy magic at play there, or someone misread the patch notes. Who knows?
Lastly, worth a shout, they shortened revive times, fixed the whole “How Prestige Works” thing—which was bamboozled for some reason—and stopped operator voices from yapping on loop. Good on them.
Call it chaotic, call it reality. There it is, the patch in all its unkempt glory.
